Parenting an Anxious Child? How SPACE Can Help Families in Northern Westchester
- Caitlin McNally, LCSW
- Nov 9
- 3 min read
Every parent knows the struggle of wanting to protect their child from their fears, while also wanting to encourage them to face those fears head-on. It’s a tricky balance, especially in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. It’s not surprising that parents often end up adjusting their own behavior and routines around their child’s anxieties just to keep the day moving along.
But over time, these accommodations, though made out of love, can actually make anxiety worse instead of better. Now you’re both stuck in a pattern you’d like to change, but how?
The More You Help, The Harder It Gets
Imagine your son is 12 years old. He should be able to get up and get ready for school on his own, but he’s afraid of making any wrong decisions. At first, you thought you could help by making decisions with him. Then it turned into you waking up earlier to lay out everything he needs for the school day, just to avoid the stress.
It makes mornings flow more smoothly, but you’re exhausted. And the more you help, the more anxious he becomes about making decisions alone—because now, “what if I make the wrong one?” So much so, he’s texting you throughout the day asking what he should do.
Or maybe you’re the parent of an 8-year-old daughter who has always wanted you nearby. You assumed that as she got older, she’d naturally find more independence. Instead, she needs you to be in the same room with her at all times. She doesn’t want to go to the bathroom alone—and doesn’t want you to, either. You have no time to yourself because if you try to step away, she has a meltdown.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. These kinds of patterns are incredibly common for families dealing with anxiety, and I see them often in my work with parents here in Northern Westchester. This is exactly where SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) can help.
A Different Way to Help Your Anxious Child
Instead of focusing on getting your child to change their behavior, SPACE helps you, the parent, change your behavior. It’s a structured, evidence-based program that helps parents reduce the kinds of accommodations that feed anxiety, while still showing warmth and support.
You’ve already seen that working around your child’s worries hasn’t helped the anxiety fade. In SPACE, you’ll work with a therapist to develop a clear plan to slowly and intentionally change how you respond.
You’ll learn to offer calm confidence rather than reassurance, and to support your child’s efforts without rescuing or over-accommodating.
This process happens gradually, with the guidance of a trained therapist who helps you practice new responses and problem-solve challenges as they come up.
Creating Calm and Confidence
Parents often find SPACE empowering because it shifts the focus back to what you can control. You don’t have to force your child to face fears before they’re ready, and you no longer have to tiptoe around every anxious moment.
Instead, you learn how to respond in ways that support your child while gradually reducing the cycle of anxiety.
These small, intentional changes can lead to big results like less tension in your home, greater confidence for your child, and a stronger sense of calm and clarity for you as a parent. It’s not about doing less or giving up... it’s about helping in a way that has been proven to work.
If any of this sounds familiar, you can learn more about SPACE here, or visit the official treatment website. I work with families throughout Northern Westchester, including Bedford, Katonah, Pound Ridge, and surrounding communities, both in-person and online.
If you’re curious whether SPACE could be the right fit for your family, feel free to contact me to explore your options and get started.
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