Why Back-to-School Anxiety Can Start Before School Does

Caitlin McNally, LCSW
Aug 9
6 min read

Parent and children enjoying the beach at the end of summer

As summer starts to wind down, some kids and teens begin getting more anxious, irritable, or on edge, even though school has not started yet. For some families, back-to-school anxiety begins well before the first day.

It is a little like the end of a vacation. You may still have a day or two left, but your mind is already thinking about the emails waiting for you, what Monday will look like, or everything you need to do when you get home. You are still on vacation, but part of you is already back at work.

Kids can do the same thing with school. Their minds may start jumping ahead to teachers, schedules, homework, friendships, early mornings, or whatever felt hard last year.

The school year has not started yet, but the anticipation of it has.

The anticipation can be the hard part

Anxiety is often about what might happen.

A child does not need to be sitting in a classroom for their mind to start imagining the school year ahead:

What if I get a teacher I don't like?

What if none of my friends are in my class?

What if the work is too hard?

What if I can't keep up?

What if this year is like last year?

What if I mess something up?

For some kids, uncertainty itself is difficult.

Once school starts to feel close enough to imagine, their minds may begin trying to prepare for every possible problem.

By August, there are also more reminders that school is coming. Schedules come out. Parents start buying supplies. Sports practices begin. Friends talk about classes. Bedtimes start shifting earlier. Summer work needs to be completed.

For a child who felt better over the summer, those reminders can bring old worries back into focus.

Sometimes feeling better during the summer means something has genuinely improved. Other times, some of the things that were creating stress were simply reduced for the time being. Over the summer, there was less homework, less rushing, less social pressure, and fewer demands to manage throughout the day.

As those demands come back into view, anxiety may come back with them.

School stress is not always about schoolwork

When adults think about school stress, it is easy to focus on grades and homework. For kids and teens, school can carry many different pressures at once.

For one child, the worry may be academic: What if I can't do the work?

For another, it may be perfectionism: What if I get something wrong or disappoint someone?

Another child may be thinking about friendships, lunch, fitting in, or whether a conflict from last year will still be there.

A child with ADHD or executive functioning difficulties may be anticipating early mornings, long days, forgotten assignments, transitions, organization, and the constant effort of keeping track of everything.

And some kids spend much of the school day working hard to hold themselves together.

They may look capable from the outside while privately feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or exhausted.

A child can like their school, have friends, get good grades, and still feel a significant amount of anxiety about going back.

Anxiety does not always look like worry

Some children will tell you they are nervous about school.

Others will not.

Instead, you may notice more irritability, trouble sleeping, stomachaches, repeated questions, arguments about bedtime, resistance when school comes up, or unusually big reactions to small problems.

A teenager may say, “I don't care,” and change the subject whenever school is mentioned. A younger child may have a meltdown that seems completely unrelated.

That does not mean every difficult behavior in August is caused by anxiety. But when you notice a shift, it can be worth getting curious before assuming it is simply defiance or attitude.

Instead of repeatedly asking, “Are you nervous about school?” you might try:

“You seem a little more on edge lately. I wonder if anything has been taking up more space in your brain.”

Sometimes kids will talk.

Sometimes they will not.

The goal is not to force a conversation, but to make room for one.

Help them prepare without making August all about school

Some preparation can make the transition easier.

Gradually shifting sleep schedules, getting supplies together, reviewing transportation, or answering concrete questions can make the unknown feel more manageable.

At the same time, preparation can start to take on a life of its own.

If a child keeps asking the same question, more reassurance does not always make the worry go away. And if every conversation in August becomes about school, there is not much summer left to enjoy.

Not every uncertainty needs to be solved ahead of time.

Sometimes the most helpful response is:

“We don't know yet, and we'll handle it when we get there.”

Do not let September take over August

This is also a good time to practice mindfulness.

Mindfulness can sound more complicated than it needs to be. In this case, it simply means noticing when your attention has moved into the future and bringing some of it back to what is happening right now.

An anxious child might be at the beach while thinking about their first math test. A teenager might be with friends while mentally running through their class schedule. A parent might hear, “I don't want to go back to school,” and immediately start imagining difficult mornings three weeks from now.

It is the same thing that can happen on the last day of vacation: you are still there, but mentally you have already gone home.

The goal is not to stop thinking about school. It is to keep those thoughts from taking over the part of summer that is still happening.

Try this: Come Back to Today

This does not need to be a formal mindfulness exercise. At dinner, in the car, at the pool, or on a walk, pause for a moment and notice:

What is one thing you can see right now?
What is one thing you can hear?
What is one thing you can feel in your body?
What is something you are enjoying about today?
What is one thing you still want to do before summer ends?

You can also model this more casually:

“I know your brain keeps jumping ahead to your class schedule. We can talk about that when we need to. Right now, we’re sitting outside eating ice cream and there are still a few weeks of summer left.”

The goal is not to stop thinking about school. It is to notice when your mind has jumped ahead and bring some attention back to the day you are actually in.

Parents can practice the same thing. If one worried comment in August sends your mind straight to imagining the entire school year, notice that.

You do not have to solve September while you are still in August.

When might extra support be helpful?

Some worry before a new school year is expected. Transitions can be hard, especially when a child is starting a new school, entering middle or high school, facing a more demanding academic year, or dealing with changes in friendships.

What matters more is how intense the anxiety becomes and how much it starts interfering with everyday life.

It may be worth paying closer attention if your child is having significant trouble sleeping, frequently complaining of physical symptoms, avoiding normal activities, becoming increasingly upset about school, or spending a large part of the day worrying about what is coming.

You also do not have to wait until a child is refusing school or having panic attacks before seeking outside help for anxiety.

If the same pattern happens every year, or anxiety continues to build once school begins, therapy can help children and teens better understand what is making school feel difficult and learn ways to respond without letting anxiety increasingly take over what they do.

Depending on the child, that might include understanding how anxiety works, noticing connections between thoughts, feelings, and behavior, gradually approaching situations they have started avoiding, building practical strategies, or helping parents think about how they respond to anxiety at home.

I provide therapy for children and teens ages 8+ in Mount Kisco, NY, serving families across Westchester County, as well as virtual therapy throughout New York and Connecticut. I also offer SPACE, a parent-based treatment for childhood and teen anxiety.